Title: you, me, we, us (1/1)
Pairing: 2min, onkey (onjongkey, jongkey and jongkyung if you squint this)
Summary: It had been an odd relationship between Jinki, Jonghyun, and Key until the news came out. Complicated feeling, complicated relationship, and complicated comprehension under the name of love.
Warning: !SHINeepairing , english (and if it contains error, just pass it over), !boyxboy.
A/N: I have nothing against anyone. The idea just popped out of blue and i felt like to write this. You will see a slight different type of love here. This is what i see between OnJongKey. I hope this can actually represent all readers’s feeling because believe me, i’m onjongkey shipper, actually. Two, i’m waiting here for 2min and Onkey to declare their hidden relationship (and possibly get married soon lol).
second. i’ve posted this on my LJ and decided to wisely post here too. someone urged me to share this to all indonesian readers. and oh regarding for the final chapter of Because I Really Love You & Tears, Fireworks, and Happiness, i decided to suspend it for a while due to some personal reasons.
believe in our boys, fellas.
” Key,” Minho muttered, ” could you please pay all these groceries now and get back to dorm?”
Key rolled his eyes, though it wasn’t really visible since he wore sunglasses (at the night, yes). Minho put the groceries in front of cashier and explained, ” You know it is not good to go at night.. especially when you wear sunglasses. For heaven’s sake, Kibummie, why do you wear that at fucking about midnight?”
” ‘Cause it’s fashion in perfect disguise,” Key briefly answered, ” yes, whatever. Here’s the money, ahjussi. Thank you!”
They both stepped out from 24 hours minimarket carrying their groceries. Minho fixed his short bangs and mask difficultly while trying to synchronize his steps with Key. They passed a newspapers and magazines stall as the seller shouted suprising words.
” BREAKING NEWS! Shin Sekyung and SHINee’s Kim Jonghyun are officially dating!”
Key stopped his walk and spun around, staring unbelieveablely to the stall, behind of his glasses. Minho, who was also suprised too, held his breathe unconciously.
” .. Excuse me?”
” Oh,” the seller grinned and pointed the newspaper confidently, ” could you possibly be Sekyung’s fan? Prepare your heart, man! She got a fine guy! Top of all, he’s from SHINee!”
Minho breathed and threw his gaze to Key. The older boy didn’t move even just a inch. Minho sighed as he poked Key’s arm. ” Hey.”
But Key merely stayed still. His eyes were fixed to the headline of the newspaper.
” Man,” Minho murmured, ” This is gonna be tough.”
At that time, it took exactly 10 minutes for Key until they finally walked back after buying the newspaper.
” You don’t know what i’m thinking now, Key.”
Jonghyun glared at Key who looked lost in disbelief. His bestfriend just snapped at him.
” But why,” Key wailed almost, voicelessly, ” did you forget the rules? or how about us?”
Jonghyun shook his head frustatedly. ” You don’t know either how confused i am, Key. It’s Sekyung, us, and fans we’re talking about.”
Key felt like tears were already shown up on the both eyelids. He bit his lower lip. Jonghyun exhaled harshly as he finally made a point to turn back and said, ” We’re friends, right.” as he left the stunned boy behind.
Key slammed the newspaper to the floor and cursed small faint “damn..” in his tears.
He needed a fresh air.
Sadly, Key didn’t recognize the thin figure peeking through a small gap of the door and ran away quickly after seeing Jonghyun turn his heel and that time he decided to sleep, not wanting to keep Jonghyun and Key ‘s fight in mind.
Both Jinki and Minho seeked to the balcony, searching for the diva. Key looked up. He was wrapping his hands around his knees and sitting down before the balcony. Key raised his left hand and waved. ” Hi, guys.”
” What are you doing here?” Jinki titled his head. Key smiled bitterly. ” Absentmindedly staring the moon. Searching me?”
But Jinki could see the latter’s bitterness. He had a fail ability of hiding emotion. It was clearly shown up on his black, beautiful orbs. Jinki didn’t say much as he glanced to Minho and received a nod from the rapper. Both of them joined to sit with Key, sandwiched the Almighty in the between. Key sent a death glare to the two.
” I can’t breathe.”
” It’s cold,” Minho calmly answered. Jinki gigled. ” and this makes us warm.”
Key sighed. ” Where’s my baby?” He didn’t ask where Jonghyun was otherwise it would just pierce his heart even more. Minho squinted to the his shared room with the maknae – no other than his little boyfriend. ” He’s already sleeping.”
A motherly smile formed on Key’s face. ” He needs proper rest.”
Jinki felt hurt seeing the third youngest smiled easefully. Somehow the hollow which was drawn over his eyes swashed even clearer. Jinki squeezed his brain juice to think until finally, he offered, ” How about to come and watch my musical tomorrow? I heard Kyuhyunnie Hyung wants to see it too.”
Minho and Key exchanged view and they nodded. ” Good idea. It has been a while since the last time we went out together..” Key’s voice went tinier, ” .. with Jonghyun.”
Key closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He stood hurriedly and laughed. ” What was with that silence? Anyway we’re going to watch your musical tomorrow, hyung! Time to recall dreams! I’m going to sleep. Good night.” and with that Key walked fast, passing the two without looking and bang the door.
Jinki and Minho looked upon the dark sky. Their breathe was calm and they placed each other’s palm together as if they were comforting themselves.
All of the rest members had known Jonghyun’s relationship, including Key. But they had no idea Jonghyun would publish this (or at least he was prepared to). Of course being Jonghyun’s bestfriend for past years, Key was the one who suffering the most. Ever since Jonghyun got girlfriend, he slowly left from Key’s side, enjoying his time more with Sekyung.
Jonghyun meant a lot for Key.
and Jinki loved him, at the same time.
It made Jinki sad whenever the truth speaks that, Key still could not get over of Jonghyun. Their relationship was complicated, between Jinki, Key, and Jonghyun. They were all like in a triangle love until finally Jonghyun moved to Sekyung. The remained felt empty. Jinki was sad because Jonghyun choosed Sekyung over Key. But what made him even sadder was, Key’s hurt gaze.
” Your relationship with Taemin is very stable.”
Minho smiled. Everytime Taemin’s name brought up to a conversation, his face always went softer. ” I know. I love him so much.”
Jinki chuckled. ” How i envy you two.”
” Talk about yourself, Hyung,” Minho elbowed playfully, ” You and Key are also very stable, right.”
Jinki’s face screwed up. He didn’t know how to say it so he replied in tiny voice, ” It was, Minho.” There was a short pregnant silence then Jinki continued, ” not until Jonghyun dates Sekyung.”
” Oh.” Minho crunched a leaf which was flying and falling down to the floor of balcony. ” I don’t know anymore, Hyung. It’s all different. People won’t be thinking SHINee as the same again.”
” He dates, Minho. That’s why.”
” But i date Taemin,” Minho gloomed, ” and you love Key.”
” It’s different. Jonghyun was supposed to be a cockblocker of me and Key,” Jinki denied, ” he loved Key, Minho. For God’s sake. He loved Key like me. Key loves me and him. Is it difficult to understand? ’cause it is.”
Minho clenched his fist. ” We’re not going to withdraw, right.”
” Then love Key even more, Hyung.”
” I know, Minho,” Jinki breathed quietly, ” I know.”
He didn’t come.
Key stared blankly at the seat, which was supposed to be Jonghyun’s. Key smiled weakly. ” It’s fine. He is not the old Jonghyun, guys. He has his own life now. Anyway, we should move our asses to watch Jinki Hyung’s musical.”
Taemin looked up and saw his umma forcing a fake smile. At the moment Taemin knew what was going on. At the corner of his heart, somehow, it affected him too. Taemin then scanned his boyfriend who stood proudly there beside Kyuhyun, discussing the seats.
Taemin’s thought was cut off as the curtains parted aside and showed the musical actors waving to the audience. A roaring of fans bursted out to all sides of room and they clapped.
The musical started.
But both Key and Taemin could not stop thinking about something else, despite their concentration to the musical. Taemin occasionally glanced to the tallest and looked down to the floor, curling his toes beneath the shoes he wore. Taemin somehow felt uneasy, anxious. He probably needs to pay attention to the musical but his mind urged him to think of something else.
What if.. Minho hyung wants to do the same like Jonghyun Hyung?
Key, Minho, Taemin, and Kyuhyun stood up and gave a big applause of the musical performance, especially to the leader of SHINee. Jinki teared up as he finally paid off his hardwork. He was tired and restless yet he felt proud in relief. The actors turned back to the backstage and the curtains closed.
Taemin didn’t speak any sentence. Key just smiled thinly. Minho blinked confusedly what conversation he should bring up while Kyuhyun was busying himself by texting someone.
” Boys, i need to go to toilet,” then Kyuhyun excused himself, leaving the three.
Minho realized his boyfriend had not spoken anything yet. He wondered why then he lowered his head. ” Taemin?”
Hearing the deep voice he always loved, Taemin’s tears welled up and his throat tightened. That time Minho sniffed something wrong with Taemin and his worry was stregthened as Taemin’s nose turned red. Minho then decided to take the little one to somewhere quiet. He looked to Key. ” Going to have a can of juice from nearest vending machine. Wanna some? I’m going with Taemin, by the way.”
Key swayed his hand. ” no, thanks.”
Minho nodded and without wasting more time, he grabbed Taemin’s wrist quickly, shocking the latter. Then he found himself being dragged away to a quiet park, meters away from the venue. Taemin frowned at whatever was going on. Minho turned Taemin’s body around so now they were facing each other. Minho stared him sharply. ” What happened to you?”
” Come on, Taemin,” Minho sighed, ” We both know you can’t hide anything from me.”
Taemin shut his mouth, not planning to answer him even a word. As if Minho got the signal of Taemin being stubborn, he placed his hand on Taemin’s cheek.
” .. Honey.” Minho started, his voice shifting from normal to soft. He sounded like pleading. ” Please.”
Taemin knew he wasn’t supposed to explain everything. Taemin’s brain told him to keep in silence. But before he could lock densely his mouth, he said,
” What if you want to leave me?”
Minho was suprised upon Taemin’s words, even the maknae could not believe what he had said. His face was burned in embarassement. His back was now facing Minho. ” Never mind. Let’s go back and –”
” Wait.” Minho yanked Taemin’s small frame and their bodies crashed together. ” Why did you ask that?”
” No! I – ”
As if it was Minho’s way to say ‘obey me’, Taemin eventually lowered his tail. He looked down to the ground, had not opened his mouth. Minho was worried of his boyfriend still not saying anything. He was about to snap Taemin back to reality until he heard a faint whisper.
” I’m afraid if you leave me, Hyung.”
Minho was confused as hell until Taemin continued, ” Just like Jonghyun Hyung leaves Key Hyung.”
” .. But they aren’t a couple like before and after.”
” I understand it, Hyung. It’s just..” Taemin felt his hairs standing up and suddenly fear hit him. ” Jonghyun Hyung loved Key Hyung while until now Jinki Hyung loves him too. and what about Key Hyung after Jonghyun Hyung leaving him?”
” Taemin..” Minho managed to let out a small whisper, ” Key still has Jinki Hyung.”
” Not until now, Hyung. Their relationship is.. right. Complicated enough. Though the point is Jonghyun Hyung already goes to someone else than Key Hyung,” Taemin didn’t know starting when, he already sobbed, ” The empty feeling. The hollow. The pains. Everything that hit Key Hyung. It’s all caused by their broken relationship. It’s not the same anymore, hyung, and it won’t.”
Taemin closed his eyes. His heart hurt whenever he tried to picture Key’s feeling and what he got was a gradual fear.
It was what he’s scared the most.
” Will i be on Key Hyung’s situation?”
Minho’s eyes widened.
” and then you leave me, one day, hyung.”
Taemin was imagining something beyond of his imagination: a broke up. He never thought about this before and he thought he would not. His relationship with Minho was the best thing he had ever reached and he planned to enjoy every sweet moment with him. But not now. Not when Jonghyun left Key. Jinki stared Key worriedly. and Key was like trying to accept the reality.
The reality Key didn’t want.
Because Taemin realized a fear of being forgotten which caused a storm inside Key’s heart.
and the fake acts Key had planned to do.
Taemin knew it all – that’s why he was scared.
Afraid if someday, Minho would leave him.
The complicated relationship of the three was enough to confuse Taemin out of hell.
Love gives and takes.
Upon realizing that, Taemin wailed in pain.
Poor Key Hyung.
Minho never knew that Taemin was actually affected by all this happening lately. He didn’t know Taemin had such sharp, precise eyes to actually figure out what Key felt.
Because it’s complicated, no one understands this.
and so do they.
Minho felt like wanting to punch himself for being unsensitive to Taemin. He spun the litte one around and he cupped Taemin’s face.
” My God, Taemin,” Minho whispered, ” Don’t be afraid. You know i love you.”
” You know Jonghyun Hyung once said that to Key Hyung.”
” But Key still has Jinki, i’ve mentioned this, right?” Minho sneaked his fingers around Taemin’s slim body, wrapping his arms around the dancer, ” and you only have me. the same thing goes with me too, Taemin.”
Taemin drowned his face on Minho’s broad chest. He was shaky. Either it was because the cold wind or this storming feeling.
What could he say more?
” Promise?” Taemin mumbled faintly, ” Because Jonghyun Hyung never promised this to Key Hyung, i believe.”
Minho smiled. ” Yes,” he replied softly, ” after all i believe action speaks louder than words, babe.”
And before Taemin could respond, Minho already placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
Nonetheless Taemin’s tears were still running down on his cheeks.. though he knew.
Because there’s nothing to say, he only needs to be with Minho forever.
Where are you Jonghyun.
Key played with his fingers as he continously looked to his watch. Kyuhyun was still in restroom while Taeminho couple was nowhere to be seen. The two youngests said they were gonna get some drinks and they had not been back yet. Key wasn’t going to complain, though, since Jinki had not been showing up either.
Speaking of the leader, here he comes.
” Hi,” Jinki formed his trademark smile, ” Waiting long?”
Key shrugged. ” Not really. How if we sit at the outside while waiting the rest?”
Jinki frowned. ” Now you’ve mentioned it, where are they?” Jinki murmured, ” oh well. Alright.”
So they made their way to nearest bench. Both didn’t say much except a formality like, ” what about my performance?” or ” did i look good?” and Key replied with ” It’s ok.” and ” You’re actually fine.”
They were sitting on a bench together and didn’t start an actual conversation. How awkward, Jinki thought. He was worried of what topic he should start or does he need to re-act a popular sangtae he has trended but somehow his mouth shut tight. Jinki looked aside silently as he saw the younger one being dazed off.
It was Key’s painful gaze.
Jinki was hurt again. It pierced all corners of his heart whenever Key seemed lost. He chewed on his lips as he bravely broke the awkward silence, ” are you thinking of Jonghyun?”
Key’s eyes were like being snapped of Jinki’s splashed question and he glared the older. ” Pardon?”
Damn you, mouth. Jinki cursed silently. Why don’t you be obedient at the time like this.
Oh well. Settle this now or never.
” You heard me well, Key.”
Key was about to deny it, but after thinking twice, there’s no way to fool Jinki. Especially when it comes to his matter. Key sighed. ” i think so.”
” Are you planning to forget him?”
” I don’t even have a reason to forget him.”
” Then what love you have to Jonghyun?”
Jinki sure has lot of questions, Key thought. He was thinking deeply until he answered, ” He is part of my life, Hyung.”
” How about me?”
” The same answer goes to you too.”
The leader leaned his back against the head of bench. He curled his fingers, trying to say something else.
Therefore, he finally said.
” You don’t really need to forget him either, Key.”
Key was jolted on Jinki’s final statement. He didn’t understand why, but Jinki’s words flamed him up. No. It wasn’t an anger. More likely – they are the words which can break him into tears.
He wasn’t planning to cry nor regret over this.
But somehow he was tired for being leaved, gloomy, and lonely.
” I.. don’t understand..” Key told in small, weak whimper, ” i.. really.. i love him.. and i wish he would not leave our friendship.. and..”
We’re not even couple.
And yet i feel a longing feeling of having him wrap his big arms around me.
It has gone.
Jinki could not bear seeing his love cry out. It’s ironic whenever you’re trapped inside questionable feeling and relationship, yet you can not actually escape. The reality speaks more harsh. Key was one of the victims. He could not even break away.
So in the next seconds he had pulled the younger into his warm, tight embrace. Key was shocked on whatever just happened. Jinki buried his face on the crook of Key’s neck.
” Don’t cry.”
Key didn’t know how long he had not felt this kind of warmth.
and Jinki gave it.
Jinki closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet scent of the younger.
” I love you, Key. You have me.”
Key also didn’t know when his hands already placed on Jinki’s back. It was like he returned the hug.
The most tragic, ironic, and saddest thing is..
Key forgot about Jinki’s existence nor his love toward the leader too.
Because he loved both Jinki and Jonghyun.
Perhaps it was a sin for loving two men at the same time.
” You’re not gonna move to someone else like Jonghyun?”
” Is that even possible?”
Key choked in his cry. ” I don’t know,” he whined, ” just like i don’t know of what happening lately.”
” Because we don’t always know about something,” Jinki quoted gently, ” that’s why we need to choose. I believe Jonghyun already going through it too.”
Key remembered when Jonghyun said earlier.
” You don’t know either how confused i am, Key. It’s Sekyung, us, and fans we’re talking about.”
Perhaps that’s why people eventually face a fear and loneliness.
Because they don’t know what will be dealing with them.
And even if it’s a love.
Just like Jonghyun going public with Sekyung,
Key needed to pick an option too.
So the end Key closed his eyes too, trying to picture Jonghyun’s happy face in his mind.
Someday he will be back to me, because we’re friends.
Jinki kissed Key’s neck softly. ” What’s your answer?”
Key snapped back into reality and he broke the hug. ” What answer?”
” You know i love you.”
Key blushed madly. ” Jinki, i don’t – ”
Before Key could say more, Jinki already landed a chaste, soft kiss on Key’s lips. Key was stunned and Jinki smiled between the kiss. They parted and Jinki stared the shocked boy.
He laughed. ” Just because you don’t know, it doesn’t mean you can escape from your feeling. You love me, or at least, you will. More than now.”
As the leader stated that calmly, Key’s mouth gaping wider. Jinki smirked when he offered a hand. ” Come on, we need to get the lovebirds and Kyuhyun hyung.”
Later Key found himself falling in embarassement even though he accepted Jinki’s hand at the end. Jinki grinned childishly while that time Key thought, i can’t believe the owner of this smile was the one who kissed me. Jinki pulled Key to the front gate, followed by Key whom was scanning at him quietly.
Little did he know that, somehow, Jinki was right.. at everything.
Their relationship was once, odd and complicated. Everything would not be the same again, Key realized that, but he had Jinki.
Then for the first time after heartbreaking period, Key smiled in relief.
” Aigo,” Minho snorted. ” Why are you taking so long? Kyuhyun hyung is already fallen asleep inside the van!”
” Sorry,” Jinki laughed. Key was behind him, holding their hands together. Taemin suddenly ran from the van and approached Key. ” Hyuuuuungg i was waiting youuu!”
Key smiled apologeticly. ” We both had a business. Sorry for keep you waiting.”
Taemin gigled. ” It’s okay.” Then his eyes ran down to Key’s hand and his eyes caught their intertwined fingers. He wrinkled his forehead, mind floating to alien land, wondering why they held each other’s hand.
Key realized what Taemin looked at to and he practically snapped his hand from Jinki’s. His face turned red. ” Right. Let’s go to the car, Taemin.”
” .. okay.” his thought was mixed up but he decided to forget it anyway and listen to what Key had said. Finally Key and Taemin moved their feet to the van, entering it.
Minho, who had seen the scene, grinned. ” So, care to explain much?”
” Oh please,” Jinki stuck out his tongue, ” Key belongs to me now.”
” What about Jonghyun?”
Jinki thought for a second and he replied, ” He will be fine. You, me, we, us too.”
” and why are you pretty sure about that?”
” I would not be your leader for nothing, froggy,” Jinki folded his arms over his chest arrogantly. ” and besides, i have been thinking this once the news spreaded out.”
Jinki took a deep breathe, throwing his gaze to the wide dark sky while wondering where Jonghyun could possibly be at.
” Like when.. or if they break up, whatever will become, everything,” Jinki whispered, ” i hope he knows what he’s doing now.”
” You’re right.”
They walked toward the car, hoping the mental state of Jonghyun work normally, so he would not do anything stupid.
Because the truth is everyone will never know what is facing them later, in the future.
” I’m not planning to leave Taemin,” Minho murmured.
Jinki looked upon the sky, feeling his overwhelming love to Key.
” So am i.”